Be The Duck – Quack, Quack

10 01 2008

Glitter Glue Princess is at that age where little girls begin the whole rumor spreading thing about each other. She has not been herself of late, and while driving last night she told me that a couple of girls are making up rumors about her, that the boy who sits next to her is her boyfriend, that general sort of thing. One of her friends told her about this because the friend didn’t know if they should go to the teacher about it or not. She was internalizing a lot of anger at these girls, but rather taking it out on me.

So, last night I taught her about my new bit of wisdom and mindset – Be The Duck.

I developed this while working in an atmosphere of rumors and poor behavior too.

It is like this: Ducks are waterproof – they shake their feathers and all the water just rolls away. What ever rumors, lies, and such come at you – if you are the duck, they will roll right off.

It is kind of like the childhood rhyme “I’m rubber and you’re glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”.

Quack, quack, quack. This is our new mantra at our house. She’s only in fourth grade, so we’ve got a long ways to go…



One response

10 01 2008

sadly, this will get worse before it gets better. girls can be positively wretched to each other. yes, it starts as early as 3rd or 4th grade. if she a couple of good friends, that will really help. do all you can to support the good friendships. find areas where she can succeed and encourage them heavily. if she has a good friend to lean on and getting validation from other activities, the rumors and nonsense will matter less. notice i didn’t say “won’t matter at all” because even the most secure person can feel the pain of nasty rumors.
role playing can help. have her practice what she can say in response to ugly things. it can help to practice beforehand. she doesn’t have to stoop to their level, but having a good response can diffuse a great deal.
also, don’t hesitate to talk to the guidance counselor. often they can do some things to help. our counselor would have small groups of students meet with her during lunch. the alleged subject of the group was never “bullying” or “rumors.” she would gather them under another guise, but find ways to get her point across. they can also do programs with the whole class, so it doesn’t point the finger at one child. far better to deal with things while they are still young and impressionable.

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