What would you do?

7 06 2007

I have this person I’ve known for um, like 20 years now. She and I haven’t been really close since college. She has this thing of calling me when she is drunk, late at night. Well… Her “late at night” and my “late at night” are totally different things. She is calling at 10 pm, and I’ve already been in bed an hour (that, and she is an hour behind me time-wise).

I’ve asked her repeatedly not to call that late, but I seem to be at the top of her “I want to get back in touch when I schnockered” list. After multiple attempts at scattered speech in the startled awake mode, I’ve taken to just hanging up on her. I’ve seriously considered calling her at 5 am after I’ve been awake a while, just to give her a taste of her own medicine, but she is married to a cop and that could get bad quickly… But, I digress to my own personal vindictiveness.

Now, she is e-mailing me too.

I’ve been sitting on this email for 1.5 weeks, trying to think of a nice way to say “IF YOU WAKE ME AGAIN I’M GOING TO START WAKING YOU UP TOO!”. I’d like to try a passive aggressive approach with her, but I fear it won’t get me off the “schnockered” list. I’m normally not an agressive person, and prefer to bury the hatchet, but this has gone on long enough and has caused detriment to my sleep when she calls.

All suggestions are welcome.

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4 responses

8 06 2007
Little Miss Sew N Sew

Do you have caller ID? You could just not answer, but I know that startled in the middle of deep sleep feeling. Answering is a knee-jerk reaction. The other thing is if you don’t need the ringer on for family emergencies, you could just turn off the ringer. Also, possibly try calmly calling her when she is sober and tell her that her nighttime calls are disruptive and unappreciated, and to stop calling in the middle of the night. It’s entirely possible she doesn’t even remember calling you – she could have been in a blackout. It sounds like she is an alcoholic (they tend to do those things) and you could always call Al-Anon for advice if this gets seriously bothersome. Hope that helps.

25 01 2008
ladywhosews

I’d simply turn the ringer off on the phone before I go to bed. That can be annoying getting calls after a certain hour, even on the weekends. I have a friend, too – that calls late at night. I am sometimes still up, but don’t bother answering the phone. It works – except for weekends.

25 01 2008
Jill

Well, here’s the problem with turning off the ringer – hubby works nights in a manufacturing facility that has a tendency to be hazardous to one’s health when the stars fall out of alignment. Odd things have happened, like the plant next door blowing up, releasing of poisonous Chlorine gas clouds, confined space hazards, etc. Sure as I’m sitting here, the night I turn off the ringer will be the night hubby ends up in the emergency ICU.

16 05 2008
ladywhosews

hmmm…then that is a problem. Do you have a cell phone? That might help. Regardless of whether you do or not I’d have to tell her not to call after a certain time, period. I’d probably call her at a time of day that will wake her up (and hope she’s sober) to make sure she gets the message by being awakened and inconvenienced by your call.

My 28 year old son lives with me and just last week he called after 9:00 p.m. for me to pick him up from work and I didn’t answer the phone. He came in 30 minutes or so later and asked “if me if had heard the phone”. I told him, Yes, but I don’t like getting calls after 9 and you know that”. He said, “but what if it’s me?” I said, “then you should know better than anybody!”

This has been my rule since I don’t know when. When both of my children were at home (my daughter is 38) then knew they could not have calls after 9:00 p.m, and I didn’t take calls either. Yes, there are exceptions, but they are extremely rare because my friends know my rule, too.

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